How Low Can We Go?

If there is one incident that exposes national character, or lack of it, it is an attack on our soil. The Mumbai attacks provided that, and sure enough, all the dogs are baying for blood, as if things were picture perfect before those miserable 60 hours. But come upon us it did, and in grand style. The event itself was rather gruesome, and the media coverage made a mockery of journalism in the process of presenting "exclusive" specials! How the heck can anyone be excluded in the coverage of a terror attack of national importance?

In the aftermath, in the period of self examination that dutifully follows, the saddest story is that of supposedly bulletproof vests that police personnel wore that weren't able to stop bullets. It is one thing that they carry outdated firepower, but it is an entirely shameful thing that equipment that is supposed to protect their lives fails the very purpose it is there for. Further tests have proved that bullets do indeed pass through these bullet"proof" vests.

This cannot be anything other than a case of rampant corruption, with the manufacturer in cahoots with someone making purchasing decisions within the government of Maharashtra or the government of India. This is a blot on our national character if we aren't just making money illegally, but actually selling death to our own men in uniform, cloaked in an appearance of safety. Can we go lower than this? I'm now betting we can.

The logic of the culprits must be that police don't get shot at that often, so how is anybody going to ever find out if the damn vests are bulletproof or not? The supplier should be made to wear the vests he claims are bulletproof and shot at. That would be fair enough wouldn't it? After all, he should be able to swear by his product, shouldn't he? If he starts saying his prayers as soon as he is strapped into one of his own vests, he deserves to die.

We're fighting an enemy determined to bleed us, because he doesn't have the balls to take us on face to face. There is no way Pakistan can defeat India in any scale of warfare. So, the conniving bastards have come up with ingenious schemes to beat every kind of protest India can lodge, completely absolve themselves of responsibility and have built every instrument of deniability they need to simply say, "Heck, we don't know who did this. Sorry"! And some of us are helping rogue nations like Pakistan kill our poor policemen by issuing vests to them that can't stop their bloody terrorists bullets?

Last night, close to where I live, there was a road accident. An older gentleman on a scooter ran into a dog, got thrown off his scooter and landed on his head, bleeding and going unconscious almost immediately. Of course a group of people came running to lift him up. I called 102 for an ambulance, which rang and rang till someone picked up, and before I could tell him where to send the ambulance, he was giving me two other numbers for the GH ambulance, which I was supposed to call myself. Now, what the f$#k is an emergency number provided for if it becomes a directory service in the moment of need? What is worse, nobody picked up the GH ambulance numbers! Low enough?

The poor man was moved to a bench at the side of the road in front of a tea shop of some sort. When I was busy trying to get help on the phone, one asshole starts giving out visiting cards, with the number of "his" ambulance service we could call. The son of a bitch didn't make one call from his cell phone, supposedly because I was "already calling", and never made a move to do so even after I told him I failed to reach an ambulance service calling the official number. What kind of inhuman gives out visiting cards to people at the scene of an accident trying to make a sale?

We are always ready to become a mob, and that is good when warding off very local threats, but I didn't hear Raj Thackeray unleashing his army on the terrorrists holed up in Mumbai! In fact the son of a bitch hid himself during the entire episode, while the chief minister and his deputy both made asses of themselves and promptly got thrown out of their pompous positions! In the middle of so much nonsense, Ram Gopal Verma paid a visit to one of the "location"s along with the CM and managed to kick up another controversy.

For some strange reason NDTV thought it necessary to give Ram Gopal Verma a chance to redeem himself before his country and he did a brilliant job of putting both his feet into his mouth! Like it was somehow important to give a movie director the chance to explain his presence at the scene of a terror attack when the embers were still hot, NDTV got Srinivasan Jain, who is coyly called "Vasu" by some of his equally incompetent colleagues, to interview this clown Ram Gopal Verma. He was stupid enough to say he came to meet Ritesh, the Chief Minister's son, to narrate a story to him, and since he was leaving somewhere in a hurry, tagged along to tell him the story in the car! Some story that must have been, considering how timely this one is!

It really could have stopped short of an absolutely mayhem on TV if he didn't say he simply tagged along and suddenly, unexpectedly, they were right behind the CM at the Taj hotel, walking over the wreckage of the attacks. When "Vasu" asked Verma if he understood how people felt about him being there, the fool went on to explain how it had already been declared a safe area so he never thought he did anything wrong by being there! I really thought it wouldn't get this low, when he went one lower. He didn't even understand the question! He didn't understand that a famous commercial, glossy, masala film maker like him showing up on TV would make people feel that this matter was being handled in a frivolous matter. Neither did "Vasu" have it in him to rephrase the question so the dope could understand, nor did the dope clear his ears to hear better. It was such a sham and a shame.

Being caught with your pants down is one thing, but there was nothing to prevent Srinivasan Jain from saying, "Look, it looks bloody frivolous when someone like you shows up where people have died in a highly publicised attack which is being referred to as an attack on India, okay? So, please understand that this is not going to go down well with people who are bloody mad at the whole thing right now. This has nothing to do with "safe area" and your bloody narration of how you got dragged to the spot, get it, dopey?!" But he didn't have the words. That's how low our journalism is. Down with our politicians, their actor kids, their stupid directors, and the whole lot of incompetent nincompoops.

Like this wasn't enough already, by their own low slogan "Enough is enough", NDTV keeps quoting Aamir Khan, like he is some icon of national unity. Even Sanjay Dutt has shown up on TV to contribute his share of "I'm angry" without talking a word about how he helped the cause by buying guns from the underworld that went on to bomb Mumbai not that long ago. We can't possibly choose someone less qualified, but then that is why we are India. We love the lows!

Okay, by now, we're ready to start going up, since we feel we have hit rock bottom, right? WRONG! Mr. Naqvi, spokesperson for BJP likens people who protest with candles and flowers to terrorists! Just like that! The CM of Kerala decides to pay a visit to a martyr's father's house and gets thrown out like he should be, but curses the poor slain man's father! R R Patil, the deputy CM of Maharashtra calls the Mumbai attacks a "small incident" and loses his job.

It cannot get lower than this, but we just might make it possible.