WADA PODA!

All Indian cricketers are united on this one - against the regulations
of World Anti Doping Agency, or WADA, that require our cricketers do
just as any other athlete or sportsperson signed on to these norms,
state where they are going to be available every single day for an
hour, so that they can be tested for drug abuse.

Of course this is needless extra work that players have to put in to
make the lives of someone else, namely the WADA workers, easy. It is
irritating to say the least. More than an invasion of privacy, this
is simply not what Indian cricketers are used to or should be
subjected to.

Why not? Our cricketers are not against being tested, but they don't
want to tell some arbitrary third party where they are going to be for
a specific hour every single day! This is a questioning of our
lifestyle, and we hate it. We Indians die for one thing - freedom to
be lazy and random. We hate being organized to this level, and now
some foreign idiot is telling us to adhere to his norms? Of course we
are going to resist.

The players are also supposed to give residence details, competition
and training locations and regular activity locations. Apart from the
locations, the form also demands the precise address of the "one off"
location at which the player will be present for any significant
period of time on any particular day. Sounds like they're really
pushing it. Oh, yes, we definitely love the "precise address" part!

Abhinav Bindra has no problems against this, because he is that kind
of person, in that kind of sport. He knows discipline, order,
meticulousness, planning, rigour - that sort of thing. Our cricketers
know brilliance, bravado, pressure, having to represent a massive
population, being ambassadors in more ways than one, and so they are
pampered in the way we treat them. Simple - our cricketers are
emotionally closer to us than Abhinav Bindra. Who can blame anyone
for this?

Should they be above board? Most certainly not, but can we ignore how
they can afford to feel? Our cricketers almost single handedly have
been responsible for a feeling of self worth of the famous Indian "man
on the street". We were WINNING in cricket way before we won in
anything else! That is why we love our cricketers. It isn't easy to
grow a cricket market like India overnight. There isn't going to be
another IPL, no matter how much anybody tries to copy it. Fact of
life, it is lonely up there at the top and only India is there in the
cricketing pecking order. The Australians seem to have got around to
the fact and have embraced their few places in this success story.
Brett Lee and Matt Hayden seem to totally get it.

So, it wouldn't hurt to give others a lesson in Indian culture either.
We treat our heroes differently. They're not going to stoop, not in
the least to do something as trivial and stupid as "comply" with some
stupid regulation. Come on! Get real.

The first assumption that needs to be struck down is that Indian
cricketers are just like everybody else. They are not. The second
assumption that needs to be struck down is that since other Indian
sportspersons have no problem with it, it has to be easy for Indian
cricketers to follow. Nothing can be further from the truth. Our
cricketers represent the biggest, most colourful, most flamboyant
dreams of success to us Indians. Our cricketers are top flight and we
love them for their successes, individual or collective. So, they
have come to represent a lot more than a game to us. They represent
us.

The most important thing to recognize here is that we Indians have
reached a place in our own minds and hearts where we don't want white
guys telliing us what to do. This is strictly high class vs low
class. Our cricketers are kings, some even emperors. We don't want
some drug testing peon from WADA trying to dictate any terms to any of
our kings. It is that simple. Sure we are class conscious, but now
we have the financial clout of the BCCI to actually tell whitey to
piss off and we're enjoying doing it at every opportunity. We ARE the
high and mighty here. And we will bloody well lead our lives the way
we want to.

There isn't ANYTHING these perhaps well meaning but clueless white
institutions can do against the simple fact that we respect our
emperors and we expect lower fools to shut up and put up. This is a
matter of respect. Our cricketers have so far not behaved
disrespectfully, but fully expect to be respected for their POWER.
Pure unadulterated power is what we have over the cricketing world.
Who is to dare tell us to give in?

If a WADA representative called any of our cricketers or their
managers and asked for one hour the next day, there'd be no problem
anywhere. It would be respectful enough, and wouldn't hurt the
process one bit. But expecting our cricketers to go onto some website
and maintain a schedule like a bloody schoolboy - forget it, clowns!
What're you going to do? Prevent Indian cricketers from participating
in the Olympics? Does it look like Harbhajan could get Sreesanth to
cry over THIS?

This is a question of WADA officials putting thought into an obstacle
they did not foresee but cannot ignore - IF they want some compliance
from Indian cricketers that is. There is a lot more than a bloody
website here at play. My money is on BCCI's financial clout coming to
the fore again, and getting their way, and on the "white" block in
cricket harping forever that India abuses its power in world cricket!

WADA ngotha PODA!