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There is an animal in the business world that is hard as nails, sharp as a knife, and as unforgiving as a fall from a cliff.
From a clearer perspective, however, it is hard as a brick, sharp as a broken shard of glass, and inflexible as a frozen fish.
It is the ambitious but clueless corporate leader - blind as a bat and driven like a wild boar.
The ideal candidate to fill this animal's spot would be highly educated but unconnected, limited in life experience but unlimited in giving opinions, full of theories and information, very short of knowledge and a blank in wisdom.
This candidate pays attention to one thing and one thing only - the target. He drives everyone to the target, talks about results, categorizes every other person into one of the few pigeonholes he has been theoretically taught about in management school, and cannot handle anyone who doesn't "fit".
He uses the word "manage" as a substitute to "evade" and "lie".
Everything he presents looks beautiful to him, and everything he presents looks like the last thing he presented!
He wants wonderful things but doesn't know anything about the license to make big mistakes.
If something fails, it is always somebody else's fault, because he "delegated" something he would never have been able to handle in the first place anyway!
He is intimidated by people who have very strong domain knowledge in areas where he is lacking.
He loves repetition because he has been taught to repeat things to keep the pressure on, while not realizing that some people react in the opposite way to something that is mentioned too often, like "drive carefully" signs.
Structure is more important to him than development.
When he ends up irritating someone, he switches to "managing" that person by choosing from a list of things he has been taught are "nice" things to do to people. (This list is pretty short and tends not to evolve)
Order is more important to him than improvement.
Every other person he meets is potentially useful to him in some way to get ahead with his ambition.
He prides himself on how well he can neglect his personal life while pushing his business ahead, but uses such words to describe this talent, you'd think he's doing a good thing.
He doesn't know how to have a good time, and doesn't get into that unless that good time is used to get closer to someone he needs to know better in order to get ahead with his agenda.
He can't understand why other people don't pick up the phone when he calls them on a Sunday!
He is distinctly uncreative and a really boring conversationalist.
He cannot catch a joke in the middle of a conference call.
To him, being bull headed is being professional.
He works hard but has not played in a long time.
He uses his values to judge other people.
His idols are those that have reached the "top" and are obviously powerful and successful, not the ones who have done something unique or special.
He loves micromanagement. He doesn't flinch when he says "I really need you to say these exact words to the client", even when the "exact words" sound like a B movie dialogue from the 70s!
He can't tell the difference between standard of living and quality of life.
He could just as easily be a she.
Once in a while, in the study of human beings, we are presented with a clarity that baffles, a vision that stands before us as if there is nothing else left to reveal, and we wonder what part of that we never saw before.
God bless you if you are working for this type of person.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Happy New Year!
Once upon a time there was a New Year. Now we bloody have it once a year. So, what's new?
Resolutions, hope, joy, cheer, drunken delirium, relief, and this time, by golly - anger! Anger about how lousy 2008 was! Well, well... are we becoming honest about things like this? Now come on, it is just another date on the calendar, surely. But there is an energy of consciousness, of our eagerness to forget all that is bad, and somehow sum it into that year called 2008.
Everything went wrong for sure, but it isn't as if all the seeds that caused the misery of the year gone by were sown in the same year. It isn't as if Wall Street crashed because of some numerological error. It was a gargantuan error of numbers that a lot of people bought into. But for sheer fear of feeling even smaller than we should feel, we haven't called ourselves really stupid, just yet. The worst part is - It isn't as if the ringing in of the New Year will make us, the human collective, smarter overnight.
But... let's keep hope, for when we're broke, that is all we have. But then, that is the popular belief being propagated with the hope, once again, of keeping us all shackled to our stupidity. The smart ones have moved on, and they never really bought into the mockery of trends. The trend of the IT industry booming, the trend of the stock markets soaring, and the trend of making money without creating any real value to anyone that the Americans thought would last forever!
The smart ones know to stay under the radar, collecting their chips quietly and efficiently, and simply keeping note of how much stupidity can infest the rest. They are not going to come out and offer advice on how to avoid this the next time. This is natural selection, and there is nothing to suggest 2009 will be an unnatural selection that will pardon stupidity.
Don't believe the myth of the connected world. It isn't a myth anymore. It is a horrible reality that has plenty of promise but the seduction is greater than the reward. I see no reason for our farmers suffering low costs of their produce just because people in some other country started eating less beef. There is no mystery waiting to be unlocked in an inextricably connected world, where a forest fire in California can affect your bank's lending rate to build your house in Chennai.
See, there is something romantic about things like "One World", "The Human Collective" and so on, but we love to hear things like that. It makes us feel coccooned in our lazy existence, and relatively safe. That is the feeling we cannot keep when we have incidents like the Mumbai massacre. That annoys us more than the act of being attacked. That is why we slip into comfort zone with the passage of time. The truly aware amongst us would never let the anger drop, until revenge is complete.
We're in competition, all the time. Not with a lousy non-state country like Pakistan, but with the rest of the developed world. Truth is, we'd be lousy without competition from our own kind, and intense competition from other countries. If there is any practical value in having a connected world, it is for the people who need a bigger market to sell their stuff to. It is all about selling. It is all about being able to buy more by selling more.
We can either evolve beyond this idea completely, and support a vision for the whole of humanity to live together in harmony, but that is not in our nature! It is in our nature to prove who is bigger, better, faster, richer! That is why we see a connected world as an opportunity, no matter what price we pay.
We haven't yet paid the full price for our actions of the past few years. Lack of imagination is a criminal shortcoming. Lack of intellect is a doomsday scenario. Lack of knowledge and insight shall not be pardoned. People who ran towards "careers" that seemed like guaranteeing great lives are standing shortchanged and a little mystified.
The noose has been around our necks for a long time, and some of us weren't smart enough to escape when it was still loose. Now, it is tightening and tightening rapidly. It isn't as if some promises were broken! The promise was never there, and many were too stupid to see it. They loved the illusion and the ringing in of the New Year as the harbinger of something new, is the newest of them all. Happy New Year!
Resolutions, hope, joy, cheer, drunken delirium, relief, and this time, by golly - anger! Anger about how lousy 2008 was! Well, well... are we becoming honest about things like this? Now come on, it is just another date on the calendar, surely. But there is an energy of consciousness, of our eagerness to forget all that is bad, and somehow sum it into that year called 2008.
Everything went wrong for sure, but it isn't as if all the seeds that caused the misery of the year gone by were sown in the same year. It isn't as if Wall Street crashed because of some numerological error. It was a gargantuan error of numbers that a lot of people bought into. But for sheer fear of feeling even smaller than we should feel, we haven't called ourselves really stupid, just yet. The worst part is - It isn't as if the ringing in of the New Year will make us, the human collective, smarter overnight.
But... let's keep hope, for when we're broke, that is all we have. But then, that is the popular belief being propagated with the hope, once again, of keeping us all shackled to our stupidity. The smart ones have moved on, and they never really bought into the mockery of trends. The trend of the IT industry booming, the trend of the stock markets soaring, and the trend of making money without creating any real value to anyone that the Americans thought would last forever!
The smart ones know to stay under the radar, collecting their chips quietly and efficiently, and simply keeping note of how much stupidity can infest the rest. They are not going to come out and offer advice on how to avoid this the next time. This is natural selection, and there is nothing to suggest 2009 will be an unnatural selection that will pardon stupidity.
Don't believe the myth of the connected world. It isn't a myth anymore. It is a horrible reality that has plenty of promise but the seduction is greater than the reward. I see no reason for our farmers suffering low costs of their produce just because people in some other country started eating less beef. There is no mystery waiting to be unlocked in an inextricably connected world, where a forest fire in California can affect your bank's lending rate to build your house in Chennai.
See, there is something romantic about things like "One World", "The Human Collective" and so on, but we love to hear things like that. It makes us feel coccooned in our lazy existence, and relatively safe. That is the feeling we cannot keep when we have incidents like the Mumbai massacre. That annoys us more than the act of being attacked. That is why we slip into comfort zone with the passage of time. The truly aware amongst us would never let the anger drop, until revenge is complete.
We're in competition, all the time. Not with a lousy non-state country like Pakistan, but with the rest of the developed world. Truth is, we'd be lousy without competition from our own kind, and intense competition from other countries. If there is any practical value in having a connected world, it is for the people who need a bigger market to sell their stuff to. It is all about selling. It is all about being able to buy more by selling more.
We can either evolve beyond this idea completely, and support a vision for the whole of humanity to live together in harmony, but that is not in our nature! It is in our nature to prove who is bigger, better, faster, richer! That is why we see a connected world as an opportunity, no matter what price we pay.
We haven't yet paid the full price for our actions of the past few years. Lack of imagination is a criminal shortcoming. Lack of intellect is a doomsday scenario. Lack of knowledge and insight shall not be pardoned. People who ran towards "careers" that seemed like guaranteeing great lives are standing shortchanged and a little mystified.
The noose has been around our necks for a long time, and some of us weren't smart enough to escape when it was still loose. Now, it is tightening and tightening rapidly. It isn't as if some promises were broken! The promise was never there, and many were too stupid to see it. They loved the illusion and the ringing in of the New Year as the harbinger of something new, is the newest of them all. Happy New Year!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Are you fit for marriage?
I know a lot of people who are not happy in their marriages, and definitely more boring people after they got married than before.
I know a lot who are divorced and bitter, or even worse, sad. It doesn't matter whether the marriages are arranged or the partners chosen by each other - both sides of the aisle present candidates richly unfit for marriage. Clearly, there aren't that many formulae that work these days for a happy marriage, but I've noticed it is a certain "type" of people that indeed find marital bliss. You're not going to change the type of person you are, so you can delve into this simple set of questions to figure out if you are fit just for the wedding (which all your noble "qualifications" are good at determining), or indeed for the marriage that follows.
10. Are you getting married for any reason other than because it seems like the "right" thing to do?
9. Is your mate the person you would love to hang out with, no matter what life presents?
8. Do you have infinite patience and love for children, even at their irritating worst?
7. Do you have a sense of humour that peaks when life is hardest?
6. Do you know how to let your partner learn from his/her mistakes without saying "I told you so"?
5. Do you know to communicate how strongly you feel about something without getting emotional?
4. Is it important for you to really enjoy good sex?
3. Do you have a reserve tank of energy for emergencies that come up daily?
2. Are you a fun person that others would want to have around?
1. Are you crazy about your life, your friends, their lives, your family, their families, little ones, a packed schedule and the sheer madness of normal life and yet able to get away from it when you need a moment of quiet?
If you answered NO to any of the above, you might very well be fit for the wedding, but still unfit for marriage. My advice to you - don't get married. It's that simple. If you do, and life sucks, please stop complaining to others. Your marriage is what followed after your wedding, not mine!
On a positive note, don't buy into this crap that every marriage has its ups and downs. It is usually the smart ones that have most of the ups and the dumb ones that have most of the downs!
I know a lot who are divorced and bitter, or even worse, sad. It doesn't matter whether the marriages are arranged or the partners chosen by each other - both sides of the aisle present candidates richly unfit for marriage. Clearly, there aren't that many formulae that work these days for a happy marriage, but I've noticed it is a certain "type" of people that indeed find marital bliss. You're not going to change the type of person you are, so you can delve into this simple set of questions to figure out if you are fit just for the wedding (which all your noble "qualifications" are good at determining), or indeed for the marriage that follows.
10. Are you getting married for any reason other than because it seems like the "right" thing to do?
9. Is your mate the person you would love to hang out with, no matter what life presents?
8. Do you have infinite patience and love for children, even at their irritating worst?
7. Do you have a sense of humour that peaks when life is hardest?
6. Do you know how to let your partner learn from his/her mistakes without saying "I told you so"?
5. Do you know to communicate how strongly you feel about something without getting emotional?
4. Is it important for you to really enjoy good sex?
3. Do you have a reserve tank of energy for emergencies that come up daily?
2. Are you a fun person that others would want to have around?
1. Are you crazy about your life, your friends, their lives, your family, their families, little ones, a packed schedule and the sheer madness of normal life and yet able to get away from it when you need a moment of quiet?
If you answered NO to any of the above, you might very well be fit for the wedding, but still unfit for marriage. My advice to you - don't get married. It's that simple. If you do, and life sucks, please stop complaining to others. Your marriage is what followed after your wedding, not mine!
On a positive note, don't buy into this crap that every marriage has its ups and downs. It is usually the smart ones that have most of the ups and the dumb ones that have most of the downs!
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