One billion rights to remain stupid.

What is it that one billion people do together - sneeze, cough, spit,
hang our heads, cheer, have a hiccup, climb a tree... on and on...!
Oh, it's the IPL! Of course we do! Wait a minute! Do we? If we
did, then there's no point having eight teams, is there? There is no
way all of us would cheer for the same team the same way, and all
together. Even the Bangalore Boozards have their own fan following
and a Chennai Super Kings fan would never bother about a team led by a
guy called "The Wall" in any case. So, even if one billion Indians
watched cricket, they wouldn't by a long shot, do anything together,
unless it was India playing Pakistan in a world cup encouter. In
India, we fight for our right to be stupid, and we are never denied
that right. How lovely!

But the advertising world is famous for inflicting abject stupidity
upon us, and it is reaching insulting proportions.

Look at the latest Lifebuoy ad. where people in one building A used
the damn soap, and the people in building B didn't. Apparently, the
kids in building A were cleaner, healthier, happier, performed better,
grew taller, became national leaders, and those in building B became
cripples, sewer cleaners, smugglers, terrorists and beggars! This is
really asking to be slapped in the face, and I'll be damned if I buy
this bloody soap.

That Complan ad. has got to be campaigned against, I tell you.
Especially since they showed proof that there were two groups of kids
- one that went on a Complan diet that grew 3 cms more than the other
who didn't. Now, what kind of parents supported this great experiment
and what kind of heartless company would have paid them to prevent the
second group of children from having the opportunity to grow 3 cms
more? What are we talking about here? Using our children as
laboratory animals? How low can this get? This is definitely a case
of abuse. All the fools who raised a hue and a cry against the story
of Slumdog Millionaire depicting our kids in slums haven't clued in on
our own backyard yet.

More and more we see ads for bikes with piddly one hundred odd cubic
centimetre engines that do all kinds of outrageous stunts, with the
warning that those stunts are being performed by experts and should
not be imitated. If I am a youngster and I am supposed to be
impressed by those stunts, why am I not supposed to try them, and why
the heck would I buy that bike if I wasn't going to do any of that?
Duh duh go!

And what's up with Akshay Kumar inventing a new challenge to inspire a
whole generation of youth - finding a Thums Up without putting his
feet on the ground? Of course he had to mention that, or we'd
completely miss the message right? People with feet on the ground do
not drink Thums Up! We got it, thank you.

Now, for the not quite so stupid amongst us - here's a thought - We
don't quite seem to notice, but many of our models and actors do
actually endorse competing brands. See how many you can spot. Here's
a big one to get you going - Shah Rukh Khan, the owner of an IPL
franchise is Dish TV's top model. Dish TV belongs to the Zee group
which owns the ICL, and they are direct rivals. Bloody thief. Go
figure the rest!

Our fundamental right to be smart is never going to be questioned as
long as we don't choose to exercise it! Our fundamental right to be
stupid is never denied.