Bye Bye BJP!

Finally!

Thumped, humbled, and shown the door. Booted out of reckoning.
Monkeying around with India's culture is not the way to get votes, and
the people of India have shown the BJP exactly how much they care
about building a temple.

LK Advani I hope, I won't have to see on TV any more. I am tired of
the old fox, I'm really annoyed with his party's lunatics, and I'm
delighted to be able to spit on some maniacs of the BJP I know
personally. I saw no difference between the Taliban and the BJP, and
I was criticized for such an "extreme" view of a "nationalistic"
party.

To me, it is not nationalistic by any stretch of the imagination to
invent sensationalist claims of bringing back Indian money from Swiss
Banks, it is not nationalistic to oppose the "Nuclear Deal" just
because somebody else negotiated it in our favour, and it is
definitely not nationalistic to have elements in your party that don't
want women in pubs.

It is personal. It is personal when I am told that the women of my
country should dress a certain way, should adhere to a tradition some
men believe are more Indian than others, and it is definitely
extremely bloody personal when I am told that our women's freedoms can
be compromised in the name of some archaic vision of India!

I think Sonia Gandhi is pushing it a bit when she says, "People of
India always make the right choice!", but I get the point. The
majority is with the idea of building a secular, progressive India,
that is not dogmatic, not stuck in meaningless tradition, and most
definitely not stuck with religious hullabaloo.

I suppose this is a turning point election, because of two things -
some young people have come forward to vote, some have actually got
involved in politics, but more importantly, the nation has chosen to
give youth a bit more credit, a little more slack, and to actually
give progressive ideas a chance against untrustworthy politics with
agendas instead of real ideas.

But, just in case you missed the big print (we're very good at reading
the fine print these days), this is a verdict for stability. Not the
political stability that the Congress has been touting, but the
stability of the noise levels and fatigue we have to deal with on a
daily basis. Manmohan Singh does not stress us out. Advani
definitely does. The BJP is a bit out of whack and is likely to cause
some noise, along with whatever good they might do. The Congress
might not do anything great, but the ship will sail through the storm.
That is all we want.

We don't need a revolution. That is the point the BJP needs to
understand. That is what the Left needs to get. We just want to sail
forth, quietly and with dignity. We don't need noise. We are bloody
tired making our own lives work. Why would we want some political
party setting forth agendas and dictums that are bound to ruffle
feathers, cause riots, and cause disruptions of all things normal?

The Congress is by no means a brilliant political cohesive. But it is
enough for now.

Obama's Wonderful Gesture

President Obama just made my day!

He is going to scrap all tax benefits to companies creating jobs in
India instead of the US. What a way to knock out the much touted
Indian BPO industry. What a blow to outsourcing from the USA, and
what a statement to all the IT industry wannabe global citizen fools
who campaigned for him in Bangalore! I'm loving it.

(In its fullest implementation, Obama cannot really put a full stop to
outsourcing of jobs to other countries, for there are many loopholes
to legally exploit with or without tax implications. American
companies are very good at that sort of exploitation, but his move
will take effect to some extent right away.)

To all the smug IT industry mediocrity bred cattle, who acted like
they really deserved all the money they were making without being good
at anything in particular, I am glad to say, "You deserve all that
you're getting!". I have no sympathy for any business built on
speculation. I am not in favour of building a company based on
assumptions of everlasting growth, and I am most certainly very happy
about the felling of an industry built on a gold rush mentality.

India's IT and BPO industries were very much a gold rush mentality
driven run. Typically uncreative and most certainly not challenging,
the BPO industry was the perfect opportunity for many unimaginative,
unoriginal, not very intelligent Indian cattle to find jobs in. In
came the boom, now comes the bust! No more gold, folks. Eat mud.

President Obama is a fine representative of his people. For all of
our morons who constantly wonder if we are in the good books of the
USA, here is his unstated statement - "I am the president of the USA,
not India. My people matter to me first and foremost!" Why shouldn't
he stop outsourcing from his country? Why shouldn't he completely
choke off all the freebies that Indians have been enjoying thanks to
greedy American companies wanting to cut costs by hiring our slaves?

His move is the best thing that could have happened to dispel our
primary illusion that we are something of a powerhouse in Information
Technology. We're not. There is not a single Indian IT product that
is on every single computer in the world. In fact, there is not a
single Indian IT product that 90 out of a 100 computer users worldwide
can name. We haven't invented anything significant, and we do not own
anything in IT that the country can really feed its millions with.

This really is like HAL making doors for Airbus planes, with a
manpower resource that is ten times that of the European giant. It is
not even as if HAL makes all the doors for Airbus. Hindustan Motors
and Toyota were started in the same year. Toyota is now the world's
#1 car maker, while HM is all but gone. What is wrong with HM is that
it is an Indian company, run with Indian attitudes. Nothing is wrong
with it, except everything.

Our BPO industry hires young fools coming out of college, who don't
know anything in any field well enough to get them a proper job. They
are sucked in like cattle, and kept at the same mediocre level, where
the brain has to work only till the accent is learnt and the manuals
are familiar. After that, they're just part of the process. Kind of
perfect for the mentality we have towards jobs anyway.

Now, our politicians are busy yelling hoarse about Obama being
protectionist in his policies. Not a thought spared on how we can run
our IT industry based on our own requirements. How about elevating
India to a point where we use so much IT that we can support our IT
cadres? That would be hard work, unlike the invisible data train that
flies thick and fast and brings in dollars from the USA. It would be
a lot of facing up to reality. That is something we are of course not
willing to do. Nation building after all, isn't a joke, and if we'd
ever been any good at it, we'd not have to worry too much about other
nations, would we?

The Knights in the dullest armour

The Kolkata Knight Riders are at the bottom of the table.

Hah, who would have thought! Sorry, KKR fans and Shah Rukh Khan die
hards, I did.

It's no secret. The first thing about the KKR, is SRK, not cricket.
He couldn't stop showing up till the slide was beyond arrest, and now
can't show up to support the hardest time for his team. It means one
of the two things - either it really doesn't matter whether he shows
up or not, or even worse, his team loses focus with him around.

We can read all kinds of connections between one and the other, but to
a bunch of professionals getting paid astronomical sums of money, it
really shouldn't matter who is around to "support" them or not.
They're earning their keep, not fighting for their lives! If they are
so emotionally fickle that they need an actor who doesn't know a rat's
arse about the game, certainly not at a professional level, then
they're doomed anyway.

It is that Mumbai movie industry mentality of fitting in parts to try
and make a whole that stinks all over the selection of John Buchanan
as coach. It is also that mentality of getting some "foreign" touch,
just like people in poor countries wanting to buy imported cars. The
"Indian" Premier League has recruited foreign cheerleaders, without a
thought on whether we could have put up a lovely show with all the
kinds of dances and dancers we have in our country. The rest of the
world would have thoroughly enjoyed our Kathakali dancers in full
costume, no doubt.

Lalit Modi is not evolved enough or visionary enough to think about
being so Indian, but his stunt of donating money to South African
schools would have won him a few fans. You can bet the move will win
him some political leverage, but that's another feather in a beggar's
cap - he wants to kill the Indian Cricket League but wants to have
goodwill with South African school children!

What is our obsession with foreigners? John Buchanan, the fool,
wouldn't have dared suggesting rotating captains if he was coaching
Australia, but doesn't mind messing around with our poor Kolkata team.
Ganguly was and is a respected name, and there is nothing even now to
show it was Dada's incompetence that cost KKR their performance.

That's what happens when you bring in a mercenary who makes money even
if his team loses. John Buchanan is known for being ruthless, and a
guy who is hired for being ruthless as his top billable quality is not
going to go very far in any field of work. Whatever can be the reason
for a sports team doing well or not, at this level, it cannot be
discipline, and it cannot be structure.

Shane Warne doesn't even have a team meeting or a strategy meeting
until the toss is done with. The Rajasthan Royals are the defending
champions. So much for planning every detail. But Buchanan probably
knows no more about this new format of the game than his tried and
trusted discipline approach. It's easy touting your militant methods
when you already have a dominating bunch of cricketers under you, but
nobody is scared of Makhana Ntini because he can run ten kilometres at
a fast clip. Ramesh Powar, of portly carriage and rumbling movement,
is equally capable of getting your wicket with his tossed up ripper.
The truth is, there is no formula to an extended run of success in a
skill sport.

Once in a while, there will be a combination of players that will do
the job exceptionally well. It takes a very clever person to ride the
wave when it comes, and to sense opportunity in potential barely
spotted. MS Dhoni is exceptional at this job, in reading the game
from moment to moment, and quietly enforcing his team's will on the
opposition till they reach their breaking point. Under him, nobody
feels pressure and they react well when they have to, because he is
the guy who can go out and say openly that his batting has been
"pathetic" only to come up with a blistering Man of the Match knock
the very next game, choking off fancied opponents. And then he talks
about how consistent they have been (with a smile) with dropping
catches!

On the other hand, Buchanan wants more foreign players in his side.
The clown needs to be reminded of this being the INDIAN Premier
League, not his grandmother's colonial slave plantation. It is a
clash of mentalities, and he has reacted very typically. The process
oriented disciplinarian will always blame something in the process
when something goes wrong. The worst losers always blame the system
working against their scheme of things. People who are so obsessed
with discipline and process are usually the empty shells when it comes
to ability, especially when it needs a touch of creativity. Control
freaks never make good coaches.

It was very ungainly seeing Shah Rukh Khan climbing on and hip humping
Shoaib Akhtar during one of the presentation ceremonies in the first
edition of the IPL. Shah Rukh Khan wants so much attention, it is a
surprise there is even a game on when he is around. Then that
exchange with Gavaskar, telling him to mind his own business when the
senior pro made a comment about the rotating captaincy not being a
good idea. None of this translated to the bottomline, and it isn't
Shah Rukh Khan's fault that his team isn't performing, but he can
certainly make it look better by staying away.

Right now, all the clowning has gone below ground, for if KKR lose
another match, and they will, they might as well go home. Shah Rukh
Khan lies exposed, looking miserable and stupid. John Buchanan
certainly wasn't paid to show up last, and KKR, without a leader they
can stick around and rally around, wonder why their coach wants more
foreign players on the field, knowing fully well that their already
very "foreign" players like Brendon McCullum haven't done anything
impressive so far.

It's a mess. But it's a weirdly shameless smiling mess. It's a
showy, glitzy mess, like another movie from Mumbai. KKR is a clear
example of how things can go wrong when the focus is on all things
except the deliverable quantity. They're not a happy team. They
aren't playing good cricket. They have let their fans down, and
they're not picking up any new fans if they continue on this path.
But then, who can tell Mumbai cinema what kind of movie not to make?
All they know is coming up with some more s**t covered in glitz. And
Shah Rukh Khan is their top representative. He is in no mood to sell
KKR because nobody would be paying the price he thinks he should get!
Maybe he should try and sell his team to some foreign sucker.